What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk.
And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”
When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.
I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being.
Nine- Something you do a lot?
The obvious answer is listen to music. i do that more than i breathe. but maybe i can find something a little more self illustrative. i’ve been spending a lot of time in coffee shops lately. i do homework, read novels, essays, textbooks, etc. i used to live in the library. i used to do homework in my home. i’ve pushed a lot of that time to the outside world. i’m not sure if it’s because i find it nice to be around lots subdued coffee shop people or if it is because i like the idea of being somewhere where staring at words is part of the architecture. my fave cafe puts up a different Rumi quote every day and i always like it.
Eleven - What’s stopping you from going for the person you like ?
I’m not good at having a crush. i’m 99% sure it’s a low self esteem thing. there is a girl that i text a lot that is on the exec board of a university club with me and we chilled a little today and i want to be better friends with her because she is so genuine and sure of who she is. just talking with her lifts me into a mindset that i don’t normally get she is wonderful. but we usually just hang at student events so i’m not sure if i’ll get to know her that well but it’s def more of a friendship crush.
Fourteen - What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
if i’m thinking i’m not sleeping. i can’t do both. can other people actually do that? i usually stay awake as long as i can so falling asleep is easy. then i’ll half-tune in to a boring soccer podcast or something not particularly engaging. pausing the ipod, putting it by my bed is more mechanical than thoughtful. they are moments i forget, or fail to remember altogether.